TMG Scale 8.0
Starring No one TMG has ever heard of:  Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner

TMG is more surprised than anyone at giving this film an 8.0 rating. TMG has not been a follower of the Twilight Saga and hasn’t thought much about vampires since he played one in college to spice up a haunted house at Kansas State University. But vampires and wolves (who knew they were enemies?) are kind of cool and TMG sees why the younger set is flocking in droves to see this film.  As a point of chiropterology,  vampire bats also  flock but do so in in colonies or camps, not droves.

High School Senior Bella Swan (love the name) played by Stewart  struggles to choose between her vampire boyfriend Edward Cullen (kind of crusty name for a vampire if you ask me) and Jacob Black,  the wolf. This is all staged around a sort of Crips and Bloods style territorial/revenge  feud over Bella and presumably feeding rights instead of drug turf. TMG admits he never saw the first two films in this series but this one  stood well on its own merits.

The film has a huge transfusion (pun intended)  of fantasy romance that probably explains its appeal to any young woman looking for Mr. Right… or perhaps just a nice hickey on the neck. It is all just good entertainment  and excellent cinematography.  TMG was less sure which was more fantasy though: High school seniors cavorting as  wolves and vampires or that every “teenager” in this film has a perfect, acne free complexion. I guess vampires and wolves are pimple free, so it adds a bit  to the teen fantasy theme.

Here is the deal.  This film works and is fun.  It should entertain 13 year olds, 50 year old Dads and Moms and the 17 year old females with raging hormones.  It even included a few good (perhaps unintended) laughs. In one of the most insincere emotional outbursts I have ever seen in film, Bella pushes the feuding Edward and Jacob apart and declares herself neutral “I’m Switzerland.” Later Bella admonishes Jacob, now is in his impressive wolf form, and simply points and says “Stay.”  All the dog owners in the theatre belly laughed. Peter Facinelli plays Dr. Carlisle Cullen as the Senior Vampire in residence. His style and look was impressive and he should get on a few Hollywood A-lists soon.

My expectations walking into this film were low and off base. Since I see many films sans a date, I am pretty sure the four women sitting in my row had similar presumptions about me.  Doing radio and hanging in dark theatres makes me a bit hard to recognize and my skin tone a shade lighter than Edward the vampire.