TMG Scale 8.0
Starring Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie (Look for Timothy Dalton, Paul Bettany & Steven Berkoff too!)

Some of my best friends are questioning why I would give this funky, easy little film an 8.0 rating.  Well, it was Johhny Depp and it was just plain fun. No extra effort was extended by anyone on this film and it won’t strain your brain. Jolie looks like “Hairdo Barbie” throughout, if not occasionally appearing like she is an alien from another planet.  This is all well intended and part of just a fun, kitschy film. Her lips are in full bloom.  (Spoiler Alert:  Look close, I think you might even see a small family from Wichita hiding out below her lower lip.)

Jolie plays Elise Clifton-Ward, a rich international socialite trying to reunite with her boyfriend who has ripped off one of the most notorious international thugs (the role Steven Berkoff was born to play).  Her ex is on the lam and trying to reunite with Elise and his $2 billion in loot. Diversions must be established because everyone in Interpol is looking for them. Elise is set up to use Depp as Frank Tupelo, a rebound math teacher from Wisconsin.  Depp is innocently on vacation and gets pulled into this faux drama by accident.  Or is it an accident?

There is no social impact or moral message anywhere to be found  in this film, so don’t look for one. Try this narrative: Jolie as Elise “What’s your name? Depp: “Frank” Jolie: “What a terrible name.”  I laughed out loud.  Few others did though. An offbeat sense of humor is required for a film like this.

Best line.  When Depp feels the police do not take him seriously that some bad guys are out to try to kill him at his hotel, the police captain brushes it off as  “Attempted murder is not so serious.” Depp retorts, “Not when you downgrade it from murder, but when you upgrade it from room service, it’s quite serious. There is fun action and the plot twist while not unique, is a surprise.  Depp running from tile roof to tile roof top in his pajamas while trying to elude the hit men is pretty classic Depp and funny.  Are you watching Jack Sparrow here or even Edward Scissorhands?

This is basically a comic strip style movie of international thieves,  intrigue, action and Depp inspired silliness. Don’t take it seriously or it will surely disappoint you. It is just a fun ride. It was meant to be enjoyed, not analyzed.