TMG Scale 3.0
Starring No one
TMG and Joy Lynn cannot see every movie out there. There are dozens of new releases every Thursday and even more if you count the independent and foreign films. We have to be a bit picky. There are good reasons we skipped Scream 1, 2 & 3. We should have skipped Scream 4. Among the most important reasons to skip these movie missives is that life is just simply too short. Director Wes Craven is one of the most over rated movie directors of our time. On the other hand, Wes Craven is one of the smartest business marketers of our time. Craven makes millions selling crap films. Porn sells too though. Cravens films are sort of horror porn for drunk college kids-–just watch any Freddy Kruger movie.
The problem with this insanely (and I use this term literally) successful franchise is that Craven cannot decide whether he wants to produce a scary movie or produce a comedy. It results in a product that does neither very well. We sort of get the awkward and badly performing Ronco hammerwrench of movies.
There is no real plot other than lots of hot, dumb young girls get their throats slashed. Unless you have lived under a rock, it is obvious the real slasher will turn out to be one of the main characters. Nothing really intrigued me and nothing at all frightened me. There is zero imagination. There is simply lots of blood, terrible writing and cornball acting leading to one woman chastising another female that “your lemon squares taster like ass.” The only thing I found genuinely frightening in this film is all the totally gratuitous “F” bombs dropped by all the females. “Wes buddy, hot women with potty mouths is rarely funny or scary. It’s just dumb.” But I understand this movie plays to drunks on Friday nights and not people with IQ’s greater than your average hamster.