TGM Scale 0.0    P Factor 1.0    MPAA Rating:  R  
Starring no one. Written by Adam Sandler and several other 13 year old boys

Don’t take your teen, wife or your dog. . . don’t take anyone.

TMG rarely dips below the lowest rating on my own scale, but this worthless piece of trash deserves it. Adam Sandler needs to grow up someday or just go away. The man is totally obsessed with his lack of a penis.  Once a halfway funny stand up comedian, he now is just a gross pervert.  There are thousands of people on sex offender registries I would rather have babysit for my children before I would let Sandler pet my dog.

Many folks will say “Hey, its Adam Sandler, what did you expect?” But that is no excuse. The shame is,  Sandler is capable of producing something a level or two above grasshopper droppings, but when he is in control on a project (or perhaps better put, out of control on a project) he has no apparent,  self control. His recent Just Go with It (2011)was a halfway decent movie despite Sandler.  I assume because Sandler had no creative control.

When I first heard the plot of this movie (having not yet seen the trailer) I thought it had some hope for a drama.  A son discovers his conservative parents were once porn stars. His reaction is to follow their lead. You can imagine a compelling drama laced with some humor and some possible redeeming social message about the ups and downs of the porn industry (pun intended.) Then I heard Sandler was involved. Oh well. We end up with every dumb and crass piece of defecation that Sandler ever shared in the bathroom in gradeschool. The fact is most 13- year-old boys are not as crass as Sandler…hence why the humor does not work.

I feel truly sorry for the  315 people who live in the township Goodrich, Iowa–the home where Bucky supposedly comes from. This movie may have put them on the map, but while notoriety  may bring tourism, it will not enhance their reputation. Ask the people living near Love Canal, Times Beach, Missouri or Three Mile Island. If Goodrich cooperated on this film, its terrain should receive the same legacy of the latter three. And Don Johnson, what were you thinking of by being in this film? Given your recent appearance in A Good Old Fashioned Orgy (2011), I assume you have fallen on very hard times.

Don’t let the low TMG P Factor fool you. Avoid this piece of total trash.  If you wander in by mistake, demand your money back.  With so many films coming out every week, there is no excuse for any theatre giving this film any screen time. If anyone tells you they thought this film was funny or worthwhile, I suggest backing up slowly, then turn and run.